GOD LOVES A TRYER (I HOPE)

Found in my MODU notes from fall 2001

2010-11-03T17:14:00.000-02:30

My heart grows fonder of thee
though that seems too great a task
for such a small labourer.

It must be a larger thing
to be inside of, than one
can guess at remotely.

****

What is this? Did I write it? Can anyone tell me?

Staceyann Chin - Spoken Word

2010-10-04T14:38:00.000-02:30

hope

2010-01-31T21:51:00.001-03:30

D'you ever find that seeing other people's hope is uncomfortable? Maybe it's the vulnerability. Maybe it's not cool to hope; it's like catching someone with their pants down. You didn't want to see it, and you imagine they probably didn't mean to show it.

Three's Company is a difficult show to watch. You just know what's about to happen, and you're helpless to stop it. It's going to be embarrassing, it's going to take 18 minutes to sort out, and it could have all been prevented if they just hadn't had that silly mix up at the start.

On the other hand, Three's Company with no mix-ups would sort of lose the point of itself.

EAVB_KYUBCCSHHZ

recent house pics

2010-01-22T12:58:00.002-03:30

Jan 2010

Originally uploaded by Dana, eh?

Pad
Cahill is on
his way up
from the
Goulds
with more
Pine
-

Hunger and Rage

2010-01-22T12:52:00.003-03:30

Incredible photos of Haiti's Cite Soleil, the largest slum in the Americas.

Jan Sochor: Hunger and Rage

sometimes you gotta stay home alone

2009-12-07T23:57:00.003-03:30

now, i think in one liners.
i should ditch this tangle and get on twitter.
feel oppressed by the beautiful imperfection that is family love.
wonder if i'll get more and more like jim, the less goodlooking i get.
gotta talk loud to get what you want?
gotta have at least one eye, and tell folks about it?
money gone, money gone. "with the money you made?!" no, no, money gone.
beat down the chimney for new year last year. this year?
back to the wax cylinder for inspiration!

Paper Bag Records

2009-11-20T17:29:00.003-03:30

The Seven Year Itch - Paper Bag Records

If they're giving it away, is it any good?

Yes. Yes, it is.

i have abused the internet

2009-10-20T04:04:00.004-02:30

"When you're drunk, under no circumstances should you sit down in front of what is basically a publishing machine."
-Someone Who Knows What's Good For Them, to me, who doesn't.

So I deleted my blog. It was a severe reaction to a really, really, REALLY bad night of emotion and anger gone awry when mixed with free vodka, topped off with drunkenly slandering someone who cared about me so much that he persisted in making sure I got home safe, even as I screamed tearful, slurred abuse at him. I acted horribly. I am so ashamed. I still don't like to think about it.

When I deleted the blog, I meant it. I was sick of sending feelings out into the world in an anonymous-ish way, and of writing pages and pages of crap about myself, world's biggest asshole, undeserving of people's reading attention.

I undeleted it today, because, well, shit. There's stuff on here I want to keep. It's all material, they say, and this is mine. Call it my notes from the past four years. I can't just toss it. What if I need these entries when I write the next great 'oughties novel?

Friends say, "You did something bad, but you're not bad."

I hope I'm not. I hope, I hope, I hope.

blog template

2009-09-24T11:03:00.001-02:30

man it's been ages since i tried to change my template. if this one ends up being on for a long time, it's because i gave up on editing it. yes, i'll just decide that now. i'm giving up on editing it. there. this is the new template.

CHANGES

2009-09-24T10:52:00.003-02:30

Experiencing a period of change and uncertainty:
-Turned 30 today (my usual birthday anxiety: what if i am excited and then everyone forgets but then notices that i'm disappointed and realizes why and feels bad for me, better to act like birthday is no big deal. this year, i am trying hard to let myself be excited. after all, a birthday is supposed to be a fun day, and i AM excited, so surely it's wrong to act otherwise. rather risk disappointment than spend day pretending i don't care.)
-Back from offshore, dunno if it was good for me to work that much.
-Bought new car. is too expensive and feel trapped, but needed car, so good, too?
-House coming closer to done (impending decision, don't want to decide, and don't want to let go of what it was going to be. my difficulty in letting go of old plans is getting in the way of progress now, too.)
-Fall started (mostly missed summer, have no tan, no muscles)
-Trying to get divorced (wish it didn't have to be so hard, wish it was just done and over)
-Not sure of path in life (work, love, school, home?)
-Pop died a few weeks ago, still thinking about that a lot (sunflower seeds in pockets)

So, if you run into me and I act strange, it's because all this is on my mind and I'm either not myself, or more myself than I've been in a long time. This will all settle down in a few months, don't worry.

It Wasn't All Bad

2009-03-05T23:36:00.005-03:30

Originally uploaded by Dana, eh?

It really wasn't. Not even haf. I thought we were really going to be okay, if I could just hang on long enough.

ECMA 2009: It's that time again!

2009-02-26T15:21:00.002-03:30

Hey gang. Yes, that's right, I'm at it again. Blog is up and running, I've met up with one co-blogger of the three, and I've been to two shows already. Three, if you count the one in the hotel lobby. Read along if have the time, The Scope ECMA 2009 Blog.

Snoochies!

How does it work? Who cares?

2009-01-18T18:45:00.004-03:30

So. Who's in therapy? Me. Who's a bit fucked? Must be me. Yikes. For the past few years, I've been blogging when stuff is crappy. Not this time. I've got nothing. Half the time I'm beating myself up for being too self-indulgent, the other half of the time I'm congratulating myself for 'owning' the sadness, whatever that means. Funny thing is, after a few months of therapy, I am convinced that I actually understand the meaning of these bullshit therapy expressions. 'Ownership' of emotions, 'responsibility' for feeling a certain way. Jesus, I liked it better when feelings were something that I was in charge of. Isn't that what Dr. Phil says? We're all in charge of the way we feel? I used to think I was calling the shots. I also used to like Stu's mom's advice: get real, and get hard. Those are the bits of wisdom that got me through 2005-2008. Well, barely got me through... okay, I'm in one piece, anyway. Except my heart, which blew into so many popcorn pieces that I might as well use it for packing peanuts to send Jeff's stuff back to him.

Yeah. That's where am I, some of the time.

love this blog

2008-11-28T00:13:00.002-03:30

Lloyd's List: Monty Python is a pale imitation, these guys are the real deal.

let's just feel something, shall we?

2008-11-10T13:58:00.003-03:30

sad
OVERWHELMED
wistful
surprised
baffled
discouraged
ripped off
disappointed
angry
worried
alone
defiant
accepting
hopeful
excited
discouraged again
old
worn
ridiculous
over-reacting?
tired
played out

cast too wide a net

2008-11-07T13:30:00.002-03:30

Adventures in therapy.

Common sources of economic problems in small fishing enterprises:
-operator errors (arising from lack of education, negligence, human error) leading to loss
-wrong species selected
-wrong equipment employed
-equipment used improperly
-quota unsuitable to the enterprise
-area of operation impractical for the enterprise
-market saturation causes low price for product
-insufficient capital/over-reliance on borrowing
-uncontrollable biological factors (eg water temperature/soft shell crab)
-uncontrollable economic factors (eg fuel cost; foreign exchange)

Able Seaman Jones

2008-11-02T18:06:00.004-03:30

8st 13, alcohol units 20 (yikes), sleep 10h (bad as over two nights), XXL Cookies 0 (v.g.), exercise 5 (but only walking), jobs 1 (g), apartments 1 (g), houses 1 (g), messy scenes 6 (bad), trips to hairdresser 0 but booked for Tuesday (g), trips to therapist 0 but booked for Friday (g), trips to gym 0 but starting membership tomorrow (g).

Splashed goodness and booze around town for two nights running. Swilled beer, did shots and swore heartily, in manner of sailor in Shanghai who hath been at sea for far too long. Photographic evidence is plentiful and will be almost certainly incriminating when it surfaces. Living in horror of pictures showing up on company intranet. Have small dose of The Fear, but trying hard to fight it.

Sailor halloween costume was a big hit. Was a chance for me to really cultivate the devil-may-care sailor attitude that I like to play up in real life sometimes. Perfectly suited to my state the weekend. Let's be honest, I needed the sailor, just to get me through. I let off steam like I'd outrun an arctic storm and just hit ol' Maui. And not to excuse myself, but I'll tell you this for free: it's a damn tough life, full of toil and strife. Sometimes I just gotta let it out.

Got quite lippy with one random at the bar.. no, two or three. Talked total bullshit to strangers. On a dare, I hugged two people wearing sealskins. Turned out they tanned them themselves. Remembered what sealskin smells like (nice). Picture the pulsing din of a George St bar at Mardi Gras. Now picture being able to distinguish a smell like sealskin amid that sensory hurricane. Focus.

Have realized all over again how hopelessly prone to drama I am. I'm like bloody Kali, creating destructive scenes where ever I go. Seriously. No, seriously.

I have spoken before, very unfairly, of the "weakness of men". Really, we are all imperfect, fallible beings, and I love men. They are my weakness. I love the way they look, all neat and straight lines, and their deep voices and big hands. I love being around men. This is why I have such a big blind spot when it comes to avoiding man dramas. In most other areas, I'm pretty perceptive.

Van Gogh...

2008-09-26T22:17:00.000-02:30

...was maybe not as crazy as I thought.

Cracking Up

2008-09-26T13:38:00.000-02:30

Last night, I couldn't stay home. I got in around ten, Meghan just moved out and Cathy is in Corner Brook, so I knew no one was home or coming home soon, and the place was so empty. I got spooked. Had someone broken in? Couldn't have, all the doors were still locked and nothing was moved. Or did a murdered break in, lock the door behind him, touch nothing and hide in the big closet upstairs so as to block my escape once I'd gone to sleep?

I knew that it was a crazy thought, and highly unlikely, but I still couldn't go upstairs. It was sleep in the kitchen or go out for awhile.

It was kind of like when I was nine, and would beg my parents to leave me home alone. After they left I'd get so spooked by the empty house that I would end up in the living room with my back to the wall and a steak knife on the table, waiting the time out until they got back.

Twenty years later, I went to the Rose, saw the creepy little Ghost Bees, and found a nice person (Katie) to come back and check behind the doors for me.That's okay for a little kid, but I'm a grown up. Very. Almost old, now. Why can't I convince myself that there's no vampire behind the shower curtain? For certain, I am cracking up.

Not Too Old For It

2008-09-17T16:49:00.000-02:30

Yesterday, I was convinced. We're into the third week already, and not a hint of restlessness. Finally, I've been out of school long enough that September's arrival doesn't make me feel like I should be starting something new.

Today, I sat at my desk and thought, "Jesus, I'm so bored of all this." I looked at my new fall-appropriate hiking shoes, and my autumn-coloured wool socks. I looked outside. This week, it's been overcast more often than not, and as I left home this morning, Ted Blades told me it was ten degrees outside. The realization: I want to go somewhere. I want to do something new.

The thing is, I can't. But I'm not too old to feel the 'back-to-school' longing for adventure, and I'm not too old to mourn the evanescent summer days.

Whew.

Got a Panel, Read a Book.

2008-09-05T14:26:00.004-02:30

[posted via sneaky email from work.]

(1) So yesterday, I was on the way up to Kenmount Road to pay the rent (four days late, I know, but they don't charge a late fee until the fifth day) and Afghanada came on CBC. I've listened to it before, and it's a good radio drama. Way better than the futuristic one that was on in the mornings earlier this year. Bah. Anyway. Afghanada. I knew it was good, but yesterday's episode was exceptional. I was riveted. Rapt. I sat in the truck and listened to the whole half-hour. At one point, the suspense got to me and I turned the radio off - then turned it straight back on again because I had to know what happened. When it was done, I was a little shaky and wound up. I'm never joining the military.

(2) Finally finished "The Trouble With Africa: Why Foreign Aid isn't Working" last night. Robert Calderisi has lots of stories. Most of them make him sound really good, but I guess that's the autobiographer's privilege. He's all about money for NGOs like MSF etc, but he reckons that cutting direct foreign aid (ie: $$ to the governments) in half would be the best thing donors could do to help regular people in Africa. Holy crap. As a side note, he also seems to think that the DRC should/will split up, but I wonder: how to split a country that is mainly defined by it's neighbours borders? It's a largely unadministered region one fourth the size of the US, population 66.5 million.

(3) I'm going shopping this afternoon for a 200A home electrical distribution panel - yes, that's right, a breaker box. Excited! I think I'm going to get a Siemens, with room for expansion. Hold on to your VISAs, I'm going to McLoughlan's.

(4) Berry picking: get into it. Found blackberries on the lawn in Witless Bay. Gotta get more blueberries, this might be the last weekend for them. Need berries!

(5) WORK: "I'm in yr manifolds, inspektin yr gaskets."

(6) Am right into lolcats.

Half-past Three is a Difficult Time of Day

2008-07-23T16:18:00.002-02:30

Trying desperately to concentrate - I've been blurry and bored since twenty after two. Listened to Springsteen. Listened to the Rugby Roundtable. Gave the company newsletter a thorough reading. Made several unnecessary phone calls. Returned all empty mugs to kitchen dishwasher. What now?

Doozers and D-day Heros

2008-06-27T08:38:00.005-02:30

Was in a meeting yesterday with a guy from my company (who is great, and invited me to the meeting just because I was interested, not because I could really add anything) and two jumped up D-day heros from X**** (pardon my angry generalization). The X**** guys answered my only question (which may have been a stupid one, but was still serious) with a joke about midgets and doozers. Then, I go back to my desk and there's some retarded joke about "women!" in my inbox.

Fuck this!!

And the thing is, if it hadn't been for those guys laughing at my one question, I wouldn't have cared at all about the email fwd joke. Ooooh, I can't stand it when people get to me like that!

Joke:
A store that sells new husbands has opened in London , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs.

She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.'

So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.

'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.

'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

PLEASE NOTE:
To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street.

The first floor has wives that love sex.

The second floor has wives that love sex and have money and like beer.

The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.

"You've got to give this up, Jones".

2008-06-10T12:31:00.004-02:30

9st 3 (hmm), alcohol units 5 (f-f-f-friday), funerals 2 (sad), company-sponsored trash pick-up missions 1 (v. fun), XXL Cookies 2 (bad), scratch tickets 1 (bad, won $2 = XXL cookie), exercise units 3 (good! trampoline search success), jobs 1 (stasis), apartments 1 (stasis), trips to physio -1 (bad), trips to chiro 0 (g), trips to hairdresser 1 (better).

Current situation still symbolized by new hairstyle: too short. A bit strange, not comfortable yet, hoping it will grow in nicely. Thinking of going underground for the adaptation period.

Currently reading:

Adrian Mole and the Weapons of Mass Destruction (Sue Townsend)

The Trouble with Africa - Why Foreign Aid isn't Working (Robert Calderisi)

Somewhat torn.

Love, Nan and Pop

2008-06-06T23:53:00.002-02:30

Return of Jones

2008-05-27T23:02:00.004-02:30

9st 1 (stasis), alcohol units 0 (v.g.), funerals 1 (sad), XXL Cookies 3 (bad), scratch tickets 2 (bad, won $4 = free ticket + XXL cookie), exercise 0 (bad), jobs 1 (g), apartments 1 (g), trips to physio 6 (g), trips to chiro 6 (g), trips to hairdresser 0 (bad).

Current situation symbolized by current hairstyle: a mullet. Not an on-purpose, proud-to-be-a-bogan mullet, a stylish-haircut-five-months-later mullet. People say they liked my last haircut, without realizing that it's the same one I've got now. Symbolism: I am still me, but less together than before. I am running on residual togetherness, XXL cookies, free peanut butter (from work) and instant breakfast (55% sugar). Doesn't sound that hot, but then I used to run on chicken fingers, sour cream, and beer, so maybe I'm getting somewhere. They say a change is as good as a rest, anyway.

Spent an hour this evening in futile search for mini-trampoline. For my ankles, you know. Activates small stabilizers in the legs and back just by standing on it. Small stabilizers may be the key to realizing my optimum level of fitness, and eventually running the Tely 10 (haha).

Really, the small stabilizers that I need are more likely to be at Shopper's than at Canadian Tire. Have lost my voice again. Could be laryngitis, could be some historical illness acquired through musty renovation. Possibly spanish influenza? Consumption?

Freder-icton

2008-02-07T15:15:00.000-03:30

Hello world. It's been awhile. I doubt anyone reads this anymore, although my stat counter says trainspotter-spotter still gets two hits a day so I must be in a few RSS readers out there.

The reason I'm writing is not to apologize, but to let you all (y'all) know that I'll be in Fredericton Feb 7-11 for the East Coast Music Awards. I'm The Scope's blogging reporter again, and I'm hoping it's all going to go at least as well as last year, or maybe better - specific reference to deathly cold and huge snowstorms.

If you would like to keep up on how the NewfoundlandLabrador (Hi Danny) acts fare this weekend, or maybe if you would just like to see whether I still know how to write after all this time drafting-not-writing, pop on over to the ECMA2008 Scope Blog.

Incredible

2008-02-04T11:56:00.000-03:30

"Long after Congo's wider 1998-2003 war ended, fighting has raged on in the east, adding to a humanitarian catastrophe that has caused more deaths -- 5.4 million since 1998 -- than any other conflict since World War Two, relief experts say."

source

Fall 2007 - Adventure

2007-11-13T01:04:00.001-03:30

Happiness

2007-08-08T13:24:00.000-02:30

As seen on Salmonier Line last Sunday. With thanks to Ms. M. Rivers of Montreal, Canada, for the photo.

Sunshine

2007-07-29T19:16:00.001-02:30

Babies!

2007-07-29T19:15:00.000-02:30

The Insurgent Hatchback

2007-07-13T16:18:00.000-02:30

Nana rides again?

Perhaps the Honda Accord hatchback will finally take it's place alongside the Toyota Hilux: at the forefront of insurgencies everywhere.

Excerpted From "Escape by the slimmest of margins"
GRAEME SMITH
From Friday's Globe and Mail
July 13, 2007 at 1:59 AM EDT

"Two or three hours later, driving up a lush valley between mountains, the terrain forced them back onto a road that passed through a village known as Shina. They were passing between mud-walled houses, interspersed with orchards of almond and apricot trees, when, Mr. Mohammed said, the Taliban opened fire from several directions.

The first volley of rocket-propelled grenades and machine-gun bullets destroyed one police vehicle, he said, but the others drove off the road and the police retreated east across an open plain toward the mountains. Insurgents on motorbikes and driving hatchback sedans gave close chase, he said, and followed them into the foothills."

Party @ The Ship Pub - 17/06/07

2007-06-14T14:35:00.000-02:30

Drunk At The Dollar Store: Priceless

2007-06-05T17:18:00.000-02:30

Good Fortune

2007-05-20T09:33:00.001-02:30

To recap:

2007-05-04T09:18:00.000-02:30

(1) Until early this year, I filled my life with shallow dramas to distract myself from the bleak reality of my career (and lack thereof).

(2) Now that I have a serious job, I am no longer interested in those shallow dramas. Huzzah!

(3) Over the past week, in the absence of either shallow dramas or career worries, I started putting a half dozen beer between me and Avoidance Subject No. 1: the most meaningful relationship I've ever had, and the end of it. I put it in the 'too hard' basket for about a year, but now here I am, realizing things, accepting things, mourning things - the whole package, really.

Huzzah for progress.

Otherwise:

Haircut last Tuesday - Karen done good. It's not too much shorter, but then again I haven't seen it curly yet.
Dance show tonight, the town is talking about it, so I must go. Plus, the woman who danced with Meghan this winter is in it.
Gonna hit my usual tonight. Since I moved, it's also my LOCAL. Damn, do I love having a local. No other plans, probably go home early and annoy my neighbours with late-night quiet strumming and loud singing.
Oh, right, I moved. The apartment is great, I've already had several people for tea, and two for supper! Pictures to follow. If you know where I can get a futon cushion, drop me a line.
Speaking of putting the word out, kijiji came through for me today. Check this out:
I have a 1980 Honda Accord hatchback that is looking for a new home. It needs a distributor and battery to run. It is in exceptional condition with just over 74k (I think). Interested? I'm in Maine. Where are you?
New Nana! Deadly! Anyone fancy a springtime trip to Maine?

Exit 1, Exit 2

2007-04-25T19:09:00.000-02:30

Yellow bikini. Thinking of summer already.

Turns out, I was right. The many dramas that I've been so obsessed with for the past, oh, let's see, YEAR, were all to keep my mind off the fact that I didn't have a proper job. In my fourth week at the New Job, with Saturn moving steadily out of retrograde, things are not only falling into place nicely, but I no longer spend time and energy stressing over relationships, hopeless or otherwise. And I haven't had The Fear in nearly two weeks. Wowza. We'll see what the weekend holds, but I think I may be on to something here.

What's fallen into place?
Well, there's the job and not being broke.
There's the apartment, I'm moving in this weekend. Be warned, I may actually call everyone who's offered to help.
There's the music stuff, which is shaping up a bit. Today I'm going to my first guitar lesson since 1995, should be fun.
The writing is - well, I'm a bit pressed for time, so the novel isn't doing much. Okay, I have a chapter. Whatever. The Navigator is going well, article in the May issue.
Pool is not so bad, I'm not losing anymore, but again, not a lot of time to practice.
There's lunchtimes, which are GREAT. There's always someone to meet, or something to do, and it's all just a short walk away.
There's my friends' lives, which seem to be shaping up at a similar rate, making for happy times all around, and lots of appreciation for each other, our town, and how funny things are.

Time for some tea, friends. I'm off again.

PS: Turns out that blogging is something I do a lot when I have too much free time. You've probably guessed that already, what with my new three-posts-per-month routine. Sorry kids, you'll have to wait until I get bored with work. That'll take at least a few months...
Until then, snoochies!

Kurt Vonnegut, we'll miss you.

2007-04-12T10:43:00.000-02:30

Kurt Vonnegut dies at 84

"I, mud, sat up and saw what a nice job God had done."
"Nice going, God!"
"Nobody but You could have done it, God! I certainly couldn't have."
"I feel very unimportant compared to You."
"The only way I can feel the least bit important is to think of all the mud that didn't even get to sit up and look around."
-Kurt Vonnegut, Cat's Cradle 1963

Still Going, But Busy

2007-04-10T22:59:00.000-02:30

I only just got this. Christ, maybe I'm thick. Tings! Tings!
whistle in the dark: to talk in a way that makes things seem better than they really are

D'y'ever feel like maybe you're playing it too close to the chest?

[Not a commentary on the rest of this post - seriously. No, seriously.]

I got some sleep last weekend. Bloody good.

Going to a fisheries safety committee meeting tomorrow morning. I have most of the research done for the article, and one interview out of four. It's looking pretty good for getting it in by the drop-dead date, with a day for corrections.

The new job is going good. They don't mind when I skip out to do telephone interviews that have nothing to do with work. They don't mind when I take time off to go to fisheries things. There's always fresh fruit, bagels, cuppasoup and hot chocolate in the kitchen. They buy me dinner if I stay late. They're nice.

The new apartment is getting closer by the minute. Anyone unaware: I got the place on Duckworth, so if you're a drop-inner, then any day after April 28 is your time to shine. Right now, I'm looking for telephone tables in the Buy and Sell. If you happen to have an old desktop rotary telephone lying around, send it my way. I can use as many as I can get. Also, send me leads on the location of the secret telephone company graveyard-warehouse. I know it's out there.

General Status:
Doing: Avoiding transcribing, congratulating myself
Listening to: Pavement - Slanted & Enchanted; Dinosaur Jr - Where You Been
Watching: Galactica
Reading: Powerpoint presentations on fisheries safety

Epiphany Jones

2007-04-02T00:50:00.000-02:30

9st 7 (whups!), alcohol units 35 (Mar 23-25), subconscious realizations 1 (v. bad), subsequent benders 1 (obvious), serious infractions 3 (half bad), major realizations 3 (good, reason why infractions were only half bad), drug units 4 (ex. as quelled drinking), Subway Cookies 3 (eh - like XXL better), exercise 0 (why even count?).

Have entered new stage of consciousness. Have also procured sharp new job. Combination of the two will likely lead to very fulfilling life, satisfying relationship, financial security and spot in Williams' cabinet circa 2014. Well, one can hope, if those things are actually to be hoped for.

Have I introduced myself? Have accepted that I am Cleopatra, queen of Denial (thx Sarah, will get a lot of mileage out of that one). Have proved that the only reliable way to stop lying to oneself is to do something (or several things) so ridiculously extreme that even you won't believe there was no ulterior motive. Certainly experienced a significant low point in life weekend before last. Very dodgy, we're talking 2003 levels of dodgy. Not good, but have moved past it. Regarding the bender and the several infractions - as wise friend Dreae says, "it's all material." Possibly all meant to happen, in fatalist, astrological, it-is-all-written-in-the-stars, saturn-is-still-in-retrograde sort of way? Feel as though I have come through something quite stormy, yet still arrived upright and afloat at dockside.

Nancy Baytona Made My Day

2007-03-22T20:19:00.000-02:30

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

St. Patrick Was Good To Me

2007-03-22T09:50:00.000-02:30

Or was it the snakes? Either way, somebody up there handed me a real beauty this past weekend.

-Spent $180. On what? At least 75% booze, but that's only an estimate.
-Saw the same play twice - quite good. The Company Theatre are bringing it back to Toronto today, so if you're up there, get into it.
-Walked around town with beer in my jacket - again. It's getting to be a holiday tradition.
-Went to a zillion bars, and one snake-themed party.
-Fell asleep with my hat and coat still on - but not my jeans! Well done, D, well done. Woke up lying the wrong way in the bed, head hanging off the side.
-Had breakfast at The Sprout, still off my face at 10am. Strongly reminiscent of the old Classic Cafe days.
-Fully forgot to participate in the Drunk Dial. Oh dear, and after all the emails I sent about it. Entries are up on the website now. Ah well, next year, it could be me!

Oh man...

2007-03-13T10:12:00.000-02:30

(1) Looks like I got out of Whistler just in time.

(2) Forgot my iPod this morning. Having withdrawls already. Am concerned for the rest of the day.

(3) Sunny today, spent break standing fully in window. Mmm. Sun-licious.

I Took A Week Off

2007-03-11T22:50:00.000-02:30

So, last week. Sorry I didn't post, but whaddya gonna do? I was on a weird vacation; up at 7:30 every morning, and in bed by midnight every night.

I'll give you the summary: hung out with some cool people (Anita, Jason, Sarah, Mike, Nicole, Anthony, Meghan, Dan, and Mark), bought a cool pair of jeans, learned to snowboard (sort of), took a few pics, went for a drive to Pemberton (it's SO different now, very posh, not the turnip town I remembered), went up and down a few mountains, discovered that I like white zinfandel, took some buses, ate hardly any chocolate (?!), spent ridiculous amounts of money on groceries, and ate really well. I flew home overnight and arrived back in St. John's just in time for happy hour on Friday. Bliss.

Holly's baby shower was this afternoon, it was a good time. I ate lots of cookies, nachos and pancit. Best lunch ever.

Back to work tomorrow morning, I hope they haven't forgotten who I am. Most people don't take a week off, a week into a new job. We'll see. Lucky I still have a keycard.

"The game is afoot."

2007-03-02T15:09:00.000-03:30

Indeed. My own Dr. Watson flew in Wednesday, we're off to BC tomorrow morning. I'm not packed at all (but I have done my laundry), I've got ten people on the line to meet up with out there, we've got the swankest of hotel rooms, I got paid twice, and if I have any say in it (which I do) it's gonna be an absolute blinder.

This eve is happy hour (I assume you're coming), then a potluck at Cathy's for the newly-returned (but soon to be joining me out west) Meghan! Hope to see y'all tonight, if you've developed a crush on me through reading my blog (as Craig alleges is a common occurence) then you're out of luck for a week, mate! As always, snoochies to Danny Williams - if you're reading, don't listen to Craig, myspace looks terrible but it's a great marketing tool. Do it for your fans.

Hinterland Who's Who

2007-02-27T23:28:00.000-03:30

Remember I was going on about those old Canadian Wildlife Servive PSAs? Well, through a fortuitous conversation about muskoxen, I found the Hinterland Who's Who website!!! They've got all the television PSAs from the 60s. Love it. That loon call at the beginning just takes me right back.. suddenly I'm watching ASN in our old basement, with a glass of milk and spagetti-os.

I also found a company that sells fossils. How strange is that?

Success!

2007-02-26T22:16:00.000-03:30

I am the new madeleine queen, ready to look after all of your Proustian tea-accompaniment needs. Are these sexy or what?

Artificially Awake

2007-02-26T08:23:00.000-03:30

If only I drank coffee, today would probably be a lot easier to get through. I stayed up awfully late last night, forgetting about the Monday morning that quite dependably follows Sunday night. Jesus, a week ago I didn't even know there was a 7:30 am, but here I am, upright and afloat at dockside. For now.

Come 2:30pm, if you see me on messenger, you'll know I'm trying hard not to fall asleep. That, my iPod, and a massive lunch are all that stand between me and a recurrence of my tradeschool narcolepsy. We'll see how we go, have a good day everyone.

Significant Progress

2007-02-23T12:32:00.000-03:30

Just a quick one today, I'm on my... lunch break!! Yes, that's right, this is me reporting in, midway through an honest day's work as a draftsman. Can you believe it? Marc, if you're reading out there, I'm with you, brother. Line. Circle. Trim (fence). Stretch. Extend (edge). Stretch. ED. CH. Layer. Align. CP. ED. Space bar. Alt-F, S.

My new article in The Navigator comes out next week (March issue). Be sure to pick up a copy.

I finished working with The Scope on Wednesday. It was sad, I really liked that job, and I'll miss Elling and Bryh, but I just have to have some more $$ coming in. C'est la vie. At least I'll still be writing for them - starting with Issue 27 (out March 15), I'll be sharing the Storefront column with Diana.

The Scope's ECMA Blog was a rousing success. It was the most popular section of the website so far... and it all happened because I wanted to get the fuck outta Dodge and go to shows and parties in some other city. Huzzah! Thanks to everyone who was reading, I don't know who you were, but there were an awful lot of you.

Gotta run, catch you up soon.

I Gotcha Covered

2007-02-17T20:55:00.000-03:30

I probably should have mentioned this earlier, but I'm in Halifax, blogging the ECMAs for The Scope. Me and my co-blogger, Geoff Younghusband, are posting daily updates. Get into it.

The Scope - Feb 15 2007

2007-02-17T03:03:00.000-03:30

I'm a little slow on the uptake, but nevertheless:
Happy Chinese New Year - Year of the Fire Pig
.........
History of Chinese Immigration in Newfoundland
Food Nerd: Cold Jellyfish Salad
Nooks & Crannies: Chinese Laundry
10 Questions with Ed Robertson of Barenaked Ladies
DIY: Recycledding
In Heritage: What Influences Chinese-Newfoundland Artists?
Ed (heart)'s Kelly - The REAL Story, from Ed Himself
Storefront: Fireworks and Bacon Mission
Hot Tickets
Dan Savage
Wicked-good Entertainment Listings

Bloomsbury-omancy

2007-02-14T01:32:00.000-03:30

Can't Take Me Anywhere

2007-02-13T18:45:00.000-03:30

Navigator article: done.
Brain: gone.
Lunch: tasty.
Pool: tonight.
Gum: some good.
Scope: goin' strong.
Provair: in the bag.
Trinity: emailed?!

Mostly Done

2007-02-11T23:30:00.000-03:30

Did good Scope stuff on Friday. We have a myspace now, get in on it.

Saturday: Foreign Service exams at MUN. Luckily I had a crew, but it was a long day. FYI, Situational Judgement exam was SO BORING, actually caught myself daydreaming.

Saturday Evening: Meghan's leaving-potluck at Cathy's. Brought foccacia bread, baba ganouj, pound cake, and dates, eliciting several jokes about 'dates' and lack thereof. Had an excellent time, but ran off for a few hours to play and sing with some nice folks on Hamilton Ave. Made it to The Ship for 130am to catch Chris's last set, met up with the potluckers and played some wicked team pool with Adam and Dan and Christy.

Sunday Afternoon: Seawolves Show-and-Tell at The Room. Interpreted for two hours while weaving the first piece on our new warp-weighted loom (see picture).

Sunday evening: Finish article for The Navigator. Must stay awake and concise. Or maybe I'll just go to sleep and finish it in the morning. Very sleepy.

Pack This, Drugs It Is

2007-02-08T19:46:00.000-03:30

Doggone

2007-02-06T13:22:00.000-03:30

We had to have the dog put down today.

Diefenbaker 1990-2007

Ladies Dog, Life of the Party, Best Dog Ever

The Ad I Told You About

2007-02-05T23:30:00.000-03:30

This is an advert that ran (and probably still runs) on TV in New Zealand. It's one of a series of public awareness messages from ACC (Accident Compensation Commission) about how most accidents occur in the home. I post it here now because I've told so many people about it, but never searched it on YouTube until today. Brutal.

All The Rage In Versailles

2007-02-04T22:00:00.000-03:30

What to do on a Sunday? Been to brunch. Read a book? Nah. Baking project? Natch. Who doesn't love madeleines? Pictured below (not my picture) they are beautiful and delicious. Now Proust - there's a man who liked his madeleines. From In Remembrances of Things Past:

"...when one day in winter, on my return home, my mother, seeing that I was cold, offered me some tea, a thing I did not ordinarily take. I declined at first, and then, for no particular reason, changed my mind. She sent for one of those squat, plump little cakes called petites madeleines, which look as though they had been molded in the fluted valve of a scallop shell. And soon, mechanically, dispirited after a dreay day with the prospect of a depressing morrow, I raised to my lips a spoonful of the tea in which I had soaked a morsel of the cake. No sooner had the warm liquid mixed with the crumbs touched my palate than a shiver ran through me and I stopped, intent upon the extraordinary thing that was happening to me. An exquisite pleasure had invaded my senses, something isolated, detached, with no suggestion of its origin. And at once the vicissitudes of life had become indifferent to me, its disasters innocuous, its brevity illusory - this new sensation having had the effect, which love has, of filling me with a precious essence; or rather this essence was not in me, it-was-me. I had ceased now to feel mediocre, contingent, mortal. When could it have come to me, this all-powerful joy? I sensed that it was connected with the taste of the tea and the cake, but that it infinitely transcended those savors..."

My plan: recipe from the internet, find a madeleine pan at the nearest hoity-toity home store, and spend the evening eating spongy cookie thingies.

I found Nigella Lawson's recipe for Rosebud Madeleines - so far, so good. Next, the pan. Went to Dining Rooms - got none. Ok, no prob, I'll go to Living Rooms - closed. Ah. Not to fear, Dreae remembered that she had two ladyfinger pans that she picked up years ago at the Salvation Army. Close enough for a first attempt, so picked those up and we're good. Next comes the mixing-stuff part, then setting it aside to rest for an hour. Batter is very yellow at this stage.

Now butter the pans and put the batter in. No prob. Nigella says a teaspoon of batter, but she's using mini-madeleine pans, so I put in a bit more. No way to judge exactly, must just estimate and soldier on. Looks ok in the oven.

Timer for five minutes, to check at three. Ok. Five minutes pass, madeleines are still puddles of goo. Shit, what's going wrong? Re-read recipe. Ingredients all accounted for. Shit! Get mother to read recipe - clever woman notes that Nigella has given the oven temperature in centigrade, as is the custom in the UK. 220C! Aha! Take pans out, increase heat to 425F, return pans to oven. Two and a half minutes later, madeleines are definitely done. Some smoke, not too bad.

Next time, I'll put more batter in. Mmm-hmmm. Look funny, taste good. At least I've got the method knocked. Now you'll have to excuse me, I have some really crumby ladyfinger pans to sort out. Snoochies, Dana.

Weekend Who?

2007-02-03T01:18:00.000-03:30

Well, it's happened again. Another Friday night and I'm just too sick to go out. Pack this in the bumhole - really. I'm hitting the doctor's office first thing Monday morning. I want the drugs, dammit. Maybe we take too many antibiotics. Maybe I should sleep more and eat more and go for a run every now and then. None of that helps me now, when I have a headache from coughing and just want sleep but I'm coughing and...

This is just like May 2003. And Jan 2000. Why do I always think that if I wait long enough, I'll get better?

Well fucksake, I don't have some bloody terminal disease or something*, I really should get over this eventually. But can I wait that long, is the question.

*****

I bought a camera today. It's not wise to spend a big pile of money when you're all hepped up on DM, but fuck it. I wanted a toy. To end the suspense, I got the Canon Powershot G7 (thanks Nancy). I played with the Nikon SLRs, but they're just too big and obtrusive for what I want to do. I'm a little regretful that I have to give up some leeway with depth of field, but it's worth it to have something that I can take absolutely everywhere, and not have people say, "Oh god, let me get out of the way of that thing." Plus, there's add-ons. I'm hooked. Pictures soon, battery charging now.

*****

*Seriously, I checked.

The Scope - Feb 1 2007

2007-02-01T15:19:00.000-03:30

The Valentines Issue

Come-by-Chance: Local Aphrodisiacs

10 Questions: Vampires of Love

Cruel Chocolate

Sin City's Heartiest Listings

Counting the Ways: Lovesongs by the Numbers

Storefront: Lovely Business

Food Nerd: Waffly Goodness

Nooks & Crannies: Ed Loves Kelly

Some People Cry: Interview with Sherry Ryan

Perry Bible Fellowship

Bottom Line Comics - Already a Cult Classic, Join Now

The Fourth Wall: Climate who?

Hot Tickets

Savage Love

Latenight Snowclearing

2007-01-30T02:21:00.000-03:30

I should really not be up doing this so late at night, it's not crucial info that absolutely needs to be sent out into the world tout suite. But fuck it, I'm here now. If I hadn't seen the plow go by, I'd be tucked up in my little beddie long ago. Instead, I have a full iPod and two videos uploaded to YouTube. The first is the plow going by at 2am, clearing up tonight's snow.

The other is basically the same footage, but from last February, and more colourful. Also from a different window. I know, you're not thanking me for wasting your time watching this, anymore than I'm thanking you for providing an audience for my nightowl efforts. So congratulations all 'round. G'night, folks.

The Pathological Lovers

2007-01-28T19:45:00.000-03:30

The PLs have a squeaky-clean new myspace. There are songs, but no pictures yet. Get into it.

PS: The show last night at the Ship was really fun. I had a great time. Chanks to Sarah for being such a great date, the PLs for being high on life, the bar for selling beer, DG for trying hard to make it through the Nordic Beat's extra-elongated set, and that dude Jason to whom I told the "kissing cousins new years" story while we were out for a 'moke (he definitely took that one home with him). Extra-honourable mention to Mark and Mel for crash space, at 4am I was in no state of mind to head back to the ranch. Dude, I really gotta get me some flatmates. Still working on the money/job thing, I'll keep you posted.

PPS: I couldn't find any video or pics of the PLs, but I did find Thomas Trio and the Red Albino, circa 1991. Did I mention I have their album? I only ever saw them play once, and I tell you, it was mad.

SMS Received from Dana: "up to 2nite?"

2007-01-27T21:40:00.000-03:30

I don't have much time, so here's a precis of what's on the go:

I applied for the Foreign Service on Thursday night. That's the Foreign Service, not the Foreign Legion, so stop worrying.

This evening I'm going to the Rock Can Roll festival show at the Ship: Lovehijacker, The Pathological Lovers, The Nordic Beat and The Coast Guard. I may also drop in on the Chris Picco Band at the Rose, and Blair Harvey at CBTGs - oh crap and I have to run into Distortion, too. Unfortunately, the CPA pool playoffs are tomorrow, so I can't stay out late drinking with youse tonight. Must be home half-early, or I'll sleep through them. That would be bad, Eddy would kick my ass.

I'm getting worried because now there's only a month until my newly-unemployed partner in crime, Meghan, goes to visit her Granny Sally in Ireland and thence to Montreal for the spring and summer. Not much time left for winter adventures, or knitting, or tea. At least it'll be a great reason for a trip to MTL.

Getting all sorted to go to Halifax in two weeks, booking tickets tonight. Aeroplan, I love you, man. I'm all set to cover the ECMAs for the paper. Speaking of, there's a new Scope out next Thursday, can't wait! I'm writing a couple of things, very excited. Look for me!

I'm also making plans for the Whistler trip, trying to hook up with as many ppl as possible while I'm out there. My main MI (now GCM) man, J-Naa, has already committed to a weekend of mad excitement. I was also hoping to see Lynne, a very special sistah that I met when I was out there in 2002. I emailed, and it turns out she's in South America with her man, biking to raise money for people living with HIV/AIDS. Check out the website, Le tour du monde en velo. The pictures are great, and she looks so happy. Lynney baby, I'll catch you up another time.

That's all for now. Take care, my sweeties!

What I'm Reading Today

2007-01-23T20:17:00.000-03:30

Somali Civil War

Rise of the Islamic Courts Union (2006)

Mujahideen in Somalia

Ethiopia begins pulling troops out of Somalia

Soooo...

2007-01-18T13:58:00.000-03:30

I'm not really thinking coherently today, but certainly I'm doing better than yesterday. Here's some random thoughts I'm distracting myself with:

Ever read any Sean Paul lyrics? Here's the words to 'Temperature', read them and then read this wiki article on Jamaican Creole. Fascinating stuff.
After a few shows, I now know conclusively that I do like the Pathological Lovers. I know, I know, big news. I wanted to wait until I was sure to make a statement. After I went to that Nickel Benefit last Friday and thoroughly enjoyed myself, I knew. I would link to their page, if they had one. But they don't, so I'll just link to Jody's myspace, where the discussion rages on as to why the PLs don't have their own myspace. Looks like he may put some songs up there soon. Here's hoping.
Two trips in the near future: Halifax for the ECMAs in mid-February (I'm gonna blog them for The Scope), then Whistler with Anita in early March. Exciting!
Remember when I wrote an article for The Navigator? Well, they actually paid me for it! I practically forgot that was going to happen. Bloody good. This writing stuff is alright. I'm doing another one for the March issue, this time on the professionalization of boatbuilding in this province. Can't wait to do the interviews.
With the addition of $ from that article, I can now get some stuff done. Gotta pay some parking tickets, but after that I want to finally buy a new camera. Nancy suggested the Canon G7, but I ran that by Shane Kelly and he reckons the Nikon D40 will do me better. Any thoughts? I know there are several Nikon D70s advocates out there.
It's currently -15C and stunningly beautiful outside.

Sick As

2007-01-17T21:42:00.000-03:30

I haven't been this sick in ages. I don't know where it came from, or what precipitated it, but I am bloody sick. I didn't even get up today until 3:30pm - not cos I didn't feel like it, but cos I was actually unable to. I kept trying but I'd get all dizzy. Cleaning the house, getting my stuff together and walking the 150m to the car was about the most difficult thing I've done this year. Whether that's a comment on my sickness or my level of exertion thus far in 2007, I will leave to the reader's speculation.

Also, not sure if this is a newsflash, but FYI: kittens are assholes. Seriously. No, seriously. The clawing, the jumping, the climbing up your leg... The only reason I didn't smash Ubu was because right when I got to that point - the Smashing Kittens Point - he would come sit on my shoulder, touch my face with his paw, and make the cutest little trilling, purring noise. I fell for it every time.

Must sign off now, too.. tired.. to.. continue.. I'll leave you with a torrent for South Park Season 8. If you want to know what I'm doing with my time today and tomorrow, wonder no more. F'd in the a, indeed.

X is Y

2007-01-14T16:31:00.000-03:30

Where X is Dana C and Y is a variable determined by the internet.

Yes, I googled myself. I feel like a cheater, though, because I knew already that there was a country singer of the same name whose rave reviews would swing the balance to the plus side. I edited a few for "relevance" and left out the ones that were blatantly obvious, like, "Dana C is a singer/songwriter of great depth and diversity," but it still scans pretty positive.

Dana C is a well-known and respected ~~Tucson, Arizona, radio and television broadcast~~ personality.
Dana Coops is the ability to say something that's been said a million times~~, but capture it in a whole new way~~.
Dana C is a rare example of the real thing ~~that's touring the country~~.
Dana C is a male. [Me last night: "I'm not a dude, I'm just a dirtbag."]
Dana C is astonishingly good, extremely enjoyable.
Dana C is gone.
Dana C is an truely great talent. [Engrish?]
Dana C is something you don't want to miss.
Dana C is as positive as her young driver.
Dana C is in town to play a show at the Mucky Duck.
Dana C is blij met de terugkeer van Zaugg.
Dana C is confident that Durban will set the benchmark for the rest of the series. [Take that how you like, it's not good.]
You don't have to know who Dana C is.

done lately, fun lately

2007-01-14T15:44:00.000-03:30

1. House- and Kitten-sitting at The Scope: Awfully nice to not need a car, and have a house all to myself. The kitten bites too much, but c'est la vie.
2. Out last night with Dreae: Got drunk, hit some clubs, saw some nice people. Received a txt from DW saying "Get AP on the trolley and get ova here!" so we left the Rose and walked... straight into a shopping trolley. Of course I had to push it down the road, begging Dre to "Get in the cart! Seriously, get in the cart!"
3. Played Poker: You know something's really fun if you lose the whole time and still enjoy it.
4. Played Pool: Ditto.
5. Went to Bell Island with Nancy and Meghan: Ate a lot of rolls. Bell Island Co-Op Bakery RULES. Got wet, cold feet. Visited every mailbox on the road to Lance Cove.
6. Went to Village des Valeurs: So I'm pushing Bonnie (age 3) in the cart. I pull a sweater off the rack and ask her what she thinks of it. She considers for a moment and says, "Yes, that's your style." I eventually buy the sweater, because it really is my style.

Sorta Snowy Night

2007-01-11T18:09:00.001-03:30

Nancy took this as we were leaving the Ship last night, in what seems to have been the thickest part of the "snowstorm".

Photo courtesy of nc_beets.

Ship Tonight - Wed 10 Jan

2007-01-10T01:03:00.000-03:30

This week's SJFAC Folk Club at The Ship features one of my favorite people, Chris Picco. So you wanna know where I'll be tonight? That's where. Come down, it'll be fun. I reckon about 10pm. Gimme a call if you like, we'll coordinate.

New Hat Day

2007-01-09T23:55:00.000-03:30

What else do I need to say? Except to quote Meghan: "you look fucking hot in your new hat." Thanks, darling. Nancy got a beautiful new hat, too, and it goes so well with her jacket and scarf. To be sure, we are going to be the queens of Conception Harbour on Friday.

Look for my hat around town - hard to miss, impossible to resist.

Photo courtesy of nc_beets.

Word of the Year, 2006

2007-01-08T14:22:00.000-03:30

'Plutoed' chosen as Word of the Year by the American Dialect Society. Did you get Plutoed this year? I feel I may have plutoed myself.. does that sound dirty?

I liked 'truthiness' better.

Tell Me Something I Don't Know

2007-01-05T10:42:00.000-03:30

Good god, the Scientists have finally found a link between depression and binge drinking among women! Shock! Horror! Who would have thought?!?!?

And yet:

"No study has found a definite cause-and-effect relationship between depression and alcohol, Dr. Graham said. 'We don't know if you're depressed because you drink too much or you drink too much because you're depressed.' "

Ok, seriously. No fucken kidding, guys. How many times have I heard that line in the Ship of a Friday night? It is to laugh.

PS: It's Friday. So I'll see you at Happy Hour?

The Scope - Jan 4 2007

2007-01-04T21:00:00.000-03:30

Best EVER Scope - Best of St. John's Survey Results

Biggest EVER Scope - 20 Pages

Top Ten Whatevahs

Loads of Interviews

Screw the listings! It's January, nothing's happening,
and we need that space to tell you who's the BEST!

Regular Favorites:

Food Nerd

Strorefront

Dan Savage

The Fourth Wall

HEAPS of Bottom Lines and Cat'

It Went Good

2007-01-02T23:48:00.000-03:30

I did a lot on New Year's Eve and in the first few hours of 2007.

I ate spagetti dinner with a good bud: my first non-hor d'oeuvre-or-cookie meal of the week. I also took a bunch of vitamins because I caught a cold somewhere in between Christmas and New Years.

The Dance Party of Newfoundland show at the hall was very funny, especially (1) Tickle-Me Joel Hynes, and (2) the sketches with wigs. Remember in Extras, when the BBC guys tell Andy to wear a wig because it's funny? They were right. So am I the lowest common denominator? Who effing cares, those crappy wigs were absolutely priceless.

Me, Dreae and Nicole-sicle hit Bannerman Park on a hot tip that there would be punk fireworks. We were not disappointed.

Later I watched the big fireworks with Dreae and Bonnie. We had the best view in town from Dre's living room window. We also had NTV on, just for good measure. We watched that shit in stereo.

Around one I hit the Spur and the Ship, but neither one really grabbed me. I ran into a new friend and we took an hour out to play some pool. That was nice. Would have been better if I hadn't been losing my voice, it's fun to talk.

My last stop was a house party at Ryan and Jason's. When I got there, Meghan had just woken up from her "nap" and we ate chips and caught up on each other's new years eves.

I spent the better part of the night walking around town with a beer in my jacket (not the same beer the whole time).

I got home about four and fell asleep immediately. I like 2007 already.

2006: Mulligan

2006-12-31T16:42:00.000-03:30

I'm with Marc on this one, and am taking a Mulligan on 2006. A do-over. There were high points. There were low points. Overall not quite what I was aiming for, and the average score was lower than expected. What I'm saying is that the league stats were disappointing, and no one team's performance could have significantly altered the outcome.

[You realize that that's not what she's saying at all, right? This one could talk you dizzy when she's trying to avoid giving details. -Ed]

Upside: I met so, so, so many good people this year. I spent the last half of the year mainly in the company of friends, and let me tell you, we've had some good times. I feel like 2006 was an exploratory mission, where the only goal was to suss out the surroundings, get back to base and decide what to do next.

Goals for the coming year: none. I'm done setting goals. I'm just going to go with the Way for awhile. In that spirit, tonight, New Year's Eve, when I have traditionally had either a too-action-packed or a boring-to-unpleasant time, I will be unconcerned with outcomes. I have a ticket to the Dance Party of Newfoundland show at the Hall, so I'm there for certain, but after that it's up in the air. Nellies for drinks? Spur for Origin of the Sound? Roxxy's cos I have a free ticket? House parties in Georgetown? Who knows, but I'm not worried. Good start to the Year of Tranquility. And Do-Overs.

No, SERIOUSLY.

2006-12-30T16:12:00.000-03:30

Dude, I'm a total blouse. I can't take it any more. St. John's is too, too, too much. It's not Christmas, it's not the dramas, or the friends or the parties, it's all of it at once. It's the dizzying highs and crashing lows.

Anita was here for four days. I love her, in some ways she is my hero. However, I don't think she's giving me enough credit for dealing with The Big Breakup. On the other hand, "there was drama, I got upset and had to call the whole thing off, I can't talk to him anymore" is a scenario that I have played out twice this year. Not a good track record. Is there some more adult way to react to romantic misadventure? Please advise.

[After recent field testing and reviewing old data, it became apparent that subject Jones never actually stops talking to anyone. What then is the purpose of this oft repeated intention of non-communication? Is is a threat? And if so, to whom? -Ed]

Normally I value my friends' opinions. Nowadays I like to get a few opinions on everything I do, just for good measure. This is new. For the years I was away, I didn't get anyone's opinion at all. Someone out there is now pointing out the level of success achieved with that method. Thanks bro. But I did have clarity even if I fucked up a great deal.

Stuart always thought that I was the sorted one, with my head on straight and goals and an organized life. Well I just read his blog and really I think he's the sorted one in some ways. He knows what he wants and has singularity of purpose. I admire that. He really is his own person, whereas sometimes I feel like anyone's person but my own. Sometimes I feel like I'm on a quest, but I can't tell what the grail is. Love? Happiness? Success? Respect? So the quest can never end.

Christmas Eve 2006

2006-12-24T12:50:00.000-03:30

Let Tranquility Happen
Love you all, have a calm day.

Thinking slowly, feeling happy,
-Dana

this world was made for me

2006-12-21T13:39:00.001-03:30

I used to believe: that the entire world was here only for my benefit. If I stopped experiencing the world, then it would cease to be. Therefore, I was the most important person in the world.

That was stupid, but then I wasn't that old.

Talking to Myself at Christmastime

2006-12-21T13:19:00.000-03:30

Anyone who says Christmas time isn't busy is a bloody liar.

"No kidding," says my audience. "Do you always state random truisms?"

Yep.

Millionandonethingstodo. Limited time to do them in. Some are more important than others. See, the thing is, I could go around and do all this stuff just fine if I had an empty mind. The Uncarved Block, if you will. But I don't. Instead I am suffused with ethical questions. Had a talk about right and wrong last night. If you know me, you will be aware that I am possessed of a somewhat fluid morality. I have always maintained that if I don't feel bad about it, then I didn't do a bad thing, on the assumption that pride and shame are two things that I can't control. I assume judgements that I make on myself come from a concrete place inside me, where degrees of Good and Bad are clearly defined. So, I can tell that I've done wrong when I feel bad about it.

Serious flaw: tough to tell if I'm defining right/wrong before or after I act.

That said, I've done some things that I definitely regret and am ashamed of. I wish I could be a shameless creature, and also be oblivious to other people's judgements. I would be a monster, but a content monster.

Tricky thing: Not every bad thing done is to be ashamed of? [sorry, must finish this thought later, things to do]

"Circumstances alter cases."
-Daniel Defoe, Moll Flanders

The Scope - Dec 21 2006

2006-12-21T13:04:00.000-03:30

The Scope Is Full of It (and by 'It' I mean Christmas Fun!)
o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o

St. John's Snowiest Event Listings
Trickle-down Partynomics
Hilarious Interview with Skullface and Others

Food Nerd Cures Your Hangover

Cat' Comics

10 Questions with Sinter Klaus

Hot Tickets

Nooks & Crannies: The Salt Pile

Storefront with Diana Daly, Girl Reporter

Savage Love

Keep Your Head Down, Jones

2006-12-08T18:48:00.000-03:30

9st 1 (who cares???), alcohol units 12 (although effectively 0 as was quite sick), take out meals since Monday 5 (bad), XXL Cookies 0 (unbelievable), phone calls ~200 (starting to get old now), exercise 0 (still bad), good deeds 1 (g.), bad deeds 4 (v. bad).

Good news: have retrieved stereo from Aztec Electronics, is now in top shape. Bad news: have no money to get speakers that are on layaway at West End Electronics. Unrelated news: was horribly drunk on Wednesday night. Spewed ringer out completely, to use some Kiwi parlance. Unconscious-in-snowbank drama averted by dear, dear friend. May never drink again (haha). Highly unlikely as currently have dozen beer in trunk of car. Certainly will not drink or even go out tonight, have v. important article to finish for The Navigator. V. excited about Scope party on Sunday (8pm, Ship Pub, pls come), expecting good time to be had by all. Somewhat concerned re: attire. Also re: what to do on Saturday night that will not result in gigantic hangover for important professional engagement the following evening. Pls. advise. Jones out.

The Scope - Dec 7 2006

2006-12-07T18:31:00.000-03:30

St. John's Quaintest Event Listings

Changing The Battery

Food Nerd Does Fruitcake + Video!!

Panel to Panel with Wallace Ryan

Cat' Comics

Holiday Movies

10 Questions with Craig Francis Power

Hot Tickets

Nooks & Crannies: The Tin Man

Storefront with Good Ol' Me!

DIY: Cloth Gift Wrap - All The Rage in Japan

Savage Love

Narcissus Who?

2006-12-04T17:43:00.000-03:30

(1) Had to change the previous post into a link. I got annoyed at the post for being entirely about me, but meta-me, and thought splitting it up might at least reduce the force of the narcissism. On one level, I can't stand bloggers that blather on about themselves. On another, less snotty level, I think that's the whole point of blogs. I blame an ex (it can't possibly be my fault, right?) for infecting me with this ridiculous, contrary snobbery, which extends into music as well. To wit:

(2) I just listened to The Novaks for the first time. I mean, really listened. I heard "Goodbye Rock and Roll Band" on the radio once, but since I don't retain a lot of what I hear on the radio, that doesn't count. I liked their music. This makes perfect sense, since I have heard and like other bands that those guys are in. I just never took the time before to check them out. It's kind of like me and the Tragically Hip. I only started listening to them a year ago, and finally realized why everyone used to line up overnight in the cold to get tickets. Three cheers for not following the crowd, but I totally missed out. Jesus, get over yourself, girl.

(3) I tell you, I'm in a crooked mood right now. This doesn't happen often, but I'm pretty fucked off. Maybe it's because tomorrow is a full moon. Whatever, I just know that pretty soon someone who probably doesn't deserve it is going to get an earful. Temper, temper...

Know Me

2006-12-03T21:46:00.000-03:30

Well, well, well. Do you still know me, or what? Seriously, I didn't recognize myself last night, looking into the mirror behind the Ship's bar. I was a bit hazy by then, but when I glanced, I thought, "Who is that person next to Dreae?" and then realized it was me. I've had a chip on my shoulder lately about people who assume a degree of familiarity with me that exceeds the reality of our relationship. I'm not the only one on about this, either. Seems like everyone is a bit crooked, going, "You don't know me, man."

So, I was backing up my stuff on the computer (had to format my iPod the other day, it was acting weird) and I came across part of an old webpage from around 2000. It had one of my typically intriguing filenames: know_me.html and man, is it ever good value. So. On the topic of knowing people or not, and interpreting the written word through space and time and social context, read it and tell me: do you recognize the person I described? And, do you recognize her as Dana In General, or Dana Circa 2000?

This Is The Greatest

2006-11-30T12:14:00.000-03:30

I ask you, could the fall have been any better? Crisp, sunny days. Lots of leaves. Unseasonably warm spells. No high winds. Hardly any rain. None of the rip-off, plenty-cold-and-windy-but-no-snow weather that I normally associate with October and November. Fall 2006 will go down in my memory as one of the greatest seasons ever.

And then yesterday fall ended. The temperature dropped, but the wind didn't pick up. I was a little worried, but as I walked across the parking lot at The Battery, watching a truly spectacular sunset (it's not often that the phrase "fire on the hills" crosses my mind, but there it was. I wouldn't have been surprised if The Rooms and the Basilica had actually been aflame), I thought to myself, "it won't be long now," meaning snow.

No sooner had I picked my little head up from the pillow this morning, than did the snow start to fall. No foolin' around, it's snowing like it means it. It's safe to say I didn't credit my own prediction. I've got no snow tires on the car, no serious winter jacket, no boots, for cryin' out loud! I do have mits and longjohns (so sexy), but seriously folks, I need a parka. It's army surplus for me this weekend.

In other news, I've had possible jobs coming out of my ears lately, and I got approved for interest relief on my student loan. Just in time, too, I got the letter yesterday, and I would have had to make a payment today. So milky bars are on me, baby!

My activities coordinator, Dreae, has already lined up the weekend for me. It was the Fat Cat last night for just a tick, tonight is a midwifery film screening, then Meghan's dance show, then Cherie and Di are playing at the Ship, while at the same time Chris is playing the Rose. Friday is Mick Davis and the Main Drag, again at the Rose, and Saturday it's Ron Hynes's CD release at the Ship. I'm still up for a little Catan on friday or saturday, if any of my board game buddies are reading this please get at me on MSN about that.

"Focus" Jones

2006-11-28T01:45:00.000-03:30

9st 1 (stasis), alcohol units 15 (v.g.), hours of sleep 20 (ex.), XXL Cookies 1 (incredible!), regular cookies ~20 (ok no mystery really), pizzas 2 (v.g. as bought with coupon, showing fiscal responsibility), exercise 0 (bad), job possibilities 3 (v.g. also v. unexpected), basketball games watched 3 (g.)

Have resolved not to embroil oneself in meaningless dramas, instead focusing on doing well in all that I undertake. Also resolved not to rashly make significant decisions just to feel as though am making progress. Good things take time. Stick with the plan, Coops.

Feel that groundwork of past few months must be paying off, as several job possibilities have come up today. Could also be luck, happy coincidence, planetary alignment, etc. Don't much care which, just ecstatic to have options again. Feeling quite satisfied with current life-state, at least in the general sense. Still some trivial aspects could use improvement, example living arrangement, health of dog, substandard camera, lack of rugby on telly, etc. but overall things are ticking along nicely.

On Da Pip (Playin' Hooky)

2006-11-24T19:58:00.000-03:30

Thursday was the sort of sunny, crisp, clear day that reminds you why St. John's is the greatest city in the world, made that much better when you state confidently, "...and it's our city." After a rough start to the day (Wednesday night is pretty good too), Dreae and I met up at SunSushi and ended up taking a super-extended lunch. She was drinking green tea to recover from a mysterious illness, and I was recovering from something of more obvious origins. There was still drinking involved. Anyway. I had errands to run, and Scope stuff to do, so Dre came around with me, spending an afternoon in the Life of Dana. We did some fun things. I took some choice shots of Dre on Signal Hill, skipping around all full of glee. Later that night we went to see the new Bond film. It was really good, I dig character development. And Daniel Craig. And the absence of Pierce Brosnan. And Dreae.

First Look

2006-11-24T14:05:00.000-03:30

Who will come to see Meghan's show? I guarantee beautiful dancing and a hot date (me).

The Scope - Nov 23 2006

2006-11-23T23:41:00.000-03:30

Ace Event Listings
Interview with Sarah Slean
DIY Kittenishness
Midwifery in NL
Sheilagh O'Leary
Food Nerd Goes Granola
St. John's Storefront Update
10 Questions with Janet Kelly
Dan Savage, Love As Always
Tiny Horoscopes, Tinier Cartoons
Last Week for Best of St. John's Contest

South Park Friends

2006-11-23T23:40:00.000-03:30

G-L-O-R-I-A

2006-11-17T00:49:00.000-03:30

Patti Smith Group doing Gloria in 1975, live on SNL. Fucken sex juggernaut, I tell you what. Excuse the italian subtitles, and note that the first line ("Jesus died for somebody's sins, but not mine") is clipped. I found the whole thing on a torrent, sans subtitles, but it would take ages to put on YouTube, and anyway I don't want to get my ass kicked by whoever owns the rights. Just know that it's out there.

In heart I am a Moslem; in heart I am an American; in heart I am Moslem, in heart I'm an American artist, and I have no guilt.

Patti Smith, Babelogue, 1979

Maddox Cove, Towards Cape Spear

2006-11-16T04:57:00.000-03:30

Went hiking on Saturday last, with the Lovely and Talented and Very Outdoorsy Meghan. She is my woodland guide and cardio motivator. See how beautiful and happy we are. The cookies were part of the picnic we brought with us, I grabbed them and some water at the gas station on the way out. Meghan made the sandwiches and brought the hot tea. She makes the best sandwiches for hikes.

South Park Dana

2006-11-15T00:24:00.000-03:30

Cheers to Dave for this one.

Tuesday Morning, 2am

2006-11-14T02:01:00.001-03:30

Time: 2am

Place: Cooper's Basement (aka The Nest)

I Enjoyed: The weekend. It went on for ages and the good things just kept piling up and up.

I Dig: November. It's cold and sharp, but the sun still shines in the daytime and at night you can see the stars.

Listening To: Songs in my head. Having just come from CBTGs, am currently in love with both Chris Picco and Tom Artiss. CBs does a roaring trade on a monday night, and those two guys playing with godslastname are the best music I've heard in St. John's in ages.

Spoke To: Stuart. On the phone, and then he emailed me. I never have to talk to him again if I don't want to, but I will. I don't see why I wouldn't. In fact, talking to him reminded me why I fell for him in the first place. I had lost sight of that. I wasn't nuts, I didn't make a wrong choice, it just didn't work out. I'm finally feeling the positive.

Idly Wondering: If I could be with someone that I'm scared of frightening away. Also wondering: If I even have the option, and how long can I take not knowing? Also wondering: Do I want to be with anyone at all; would I want what I think I want, if I got it?

Marvelling At: How little I know myself sometimes. I'm already sad about January.

Wanting: To feel like someone's got my back.

if you have five seconds to spare, then I'll tell you the story of my life

2006-11-12T13:47:00.000-03:30

So there's this thing, you know? Where you put your iPod on shuffle and use the first songs that come on to fill in the blanks for the soundtrack to your life.

Opening Credits: Sarah Harmer - Go To Sleep
Waking Up: Dave Dobbyn - Outrageous Design
First Day At School: CCR - Proud Mary
Falling In Love: Ray Charles & Nina Simone - Baby, It's Cold Outside
Fight Song: Cherie Pyne - Broken Legs
Breaking Up: The Smiths - Hand in Glove
Prom: Miles Davis & John Coltrane - Straight, No Chaser
Life: The Smiths - Stop Me If You Think You've Heard This One Before
Mental Breakdown: U2 - Pride (In The Name Of Love)
Driving: Joe Cocker - Have a Little Faith in Me
Flashback: Led Zeppelin - Bron-Y-Aur Stomp
Getting back together: Dinosaur Jr - Just Like Heaven
Wedding: Ani Difranco - Fire Door
Birth of Child: Zed - Glorifilia
Final Battle: Cab Calloway - Smokin' Reefers
Funeral Song: Odetta - Alabama Bound
End Credits: Sean Paul - Temperature

Honourable Mention to The Next Song in The Shuffle:
If I was the Grand Canyon I'd echo everything you say but I'm just me I'm
only me and you used to love me that way so you know how to love me that way
If I was Paul Bunyan I'd carry you so far away but I'm just me I'm only me
and you used to love me that way so you know how to love me that way
The Magnetic Fields - Grand Canyon

Remembrance Day

2006-11-11T18:06:00.000-03:30

I am lucky enough to not have lost anyone in an armed conflict. However, I do know, or have known, many people in the military, and today I feel that little bit scared for them. Not everyone joins the military to fight for their families and homes, like people did back in the 'noble' first world war. For lots of people, it's a specialized job that comes with certain risks, just like being a roughneck, or an electrician, or a marine engineer.

Some of these people I didn't know that well, and some of them aren't even in the military anymore, but right now I'm just thinking of the risk they accepted, for whatever reason, and the benefit we as Canadians might have had from their accepting that risk. In no particular order: Kirby & Clarissa, Marc, Missy, Peggy, Fintan, Linda, Colin, John (NZ), Robert, William, Dwarf, Pop, Scott from Scotland, Chris the engineer, those guys from the SAAF, and all the lovely NATO sailors from the millennium New Years Eve. Stay safe, kids.

the week and the weekend

2006-11-10T14:28:00.000-03:30

The week:

Dearer to me than the evening star
A Packard car
A Hershey bar
Or a bride in her rich adorning
Dearer than any of these by far
Is to lie in bed in the morning

Jean Kerr, from Please Don't Eat The Daisies

Please god(s), don't let this be my weekend:

The weekend has landed. All that exists now is clubs, drugs, pubs and parties. I've got 48 hours off from the world, man. I'm gonna blow steam out my head like a screaming kettle, I'm gonna talk cod shit to strangers all night, I'm gonna lose the plot on the dancefloor. The free radicals inside me are freakin', man! Tonight I'm Jip Travolta, I'm Peter Popper, I'm going to never-never land with my chosen family, man. We're gonna get more spaced out than Neil Armstrong ever did, anything could happen tonight, you know? This could be the best night of my life. I've got 73 quid in my back burner - I'm gonna wax the lot, man! The Milky Bars are on me! Yeah!

Jip, from Human Traffic

Mmm.. Milky Bars...

The Scope 09/11/06: BI-WEEKLY CURIOUS

2006-11-09T13:04:00.000-03:30

Splashing The Goodness Around:
Twelve Pages To Do You For Two Weeks

Provincial Wrestling Alliance Turns One
Two Weeks' Worth of Event Listings
Andy Jones Interview
10 Questions with Lorraine Michael
DIY: Building a Better Mousetrap
Food Nerd Eschews Food Porn In Favour of Nan's Cake
Rocket Richard Movie On Target
Storefront with Diana Daly, Girl Reporter
Savage Love Sizes Things Up
Best of St. John's Contest!!